Saturday, March 14, 2009

Eight is Not Enough-- it's too much!

People have been asking me about my view of the Octuplet Mom, and I have been trying to not get into it, because it hits a real nerve with me. However, I saw Dr. Phil this week and I can't be silent anymore. His show was all about how she should get services like free nannies and free diapers and free everything so the kids don't go into foster care, how foster care is so terrible, etc. I wanted to scream at the TV, "I don't want the kids to go into foster care!! I want them to be adopted out!!" They should have the opportunity to be in real families who want them, who can love them and care for them. I agree they shouldn't be in foster care, but they also shouldn't be with that crazy narcissistic nutjob who thinks she's the earth mother to the world.

I am so angry at this whole situation. I think that IVF should not be paid for by the taxpayers. I think the doctor who repeatedly did her IVF should have his license revoked. He is a disgrace to my profession, and all of my colleagues agree. I think when she had eight embryos she should have had selective reduction. For those who believe that's playing G-d, I say, "The moment you had IVF you played G-d. It's all about semantics now." If you don't believe in selective reduction, you should never implant more than 1-2 embryos at a time, because the risk that you incur to the embryos when you allow too many to continue is too great. It's selfish, plain and simple. If you have to allow them all to continue, then exercise a little control on the front end. The reason people implant more is because of the assumption that some will not implant. You have to be prepared for the possibility that they all will, and if you cannot reduce that to a number that is safe for the children that will be born, you have no business implanting more than can be safely and healthily carried to term.

I don't even have words for how selfish and reckless that woman and her doctor were. Now we as a society are faced with giving her the resources that support her irresponsibility. No consequences. Why not continue? Why not do it again? Hell, let all people who can't afford kids get pregnant on the community dole and give them free stuff so they don't have to be responsible. Let those of us who work hard and raise our families scrimp and save and go without so our kids can go to good schools, so we can teach them values of responsibility, kindness, stewardship. The reckless ones? We'll pay for them. They don't have to answer to anyone.

Ugh.

4 comments:

class-factotum said...

Amen, my sister! Remember the McCoughy (sp?) septuplets? How they were God's will? No! They weren't! God's will was that you NOT GET PREGNANT, remember?

I don't have a problem with big families as long as I am not paying for them. The Duggars -- all 17 or 18 of them? Whatever. They are not asking for my money. Heck, they even homeschool. They are not a burden on the system.

I want the State of California to go after Octodad for support and his health insurance. There is precedent. Remember the guy who got a blow job from his girlfriend who saved the sperm in her mouth and impregnated herself? She later sued for child support and won. http://writ.news.findlaw.com/colb/20050309.html

Octodad (and fathers like him -- if you aren't giving sperm to a sperm bank, then you are LIABLE -- don't put this burden on the taxpayer) needs to open his wallet. These guys need to start thinking through their actions. Donating sperm is not a simple little thing like helping someone move a mattress or change a tire. It's not consequence free. You are creating a life and you are responsible. You. Not me.

MeanMommyDoc said...

I am stunned to hear about that precedent.... I honestly thought it was something from the Onion! I disagree with that wholeheartedly, that if the girl takes his sperm and saves it and uses it against his will, he is responsible. I know that's where you and I disagree, and that's okay. I believe it's not the sperm and egg that make the parents, but rather the mothering and fathering. I guess I see a difference between a man having intercourse, not using a condom, knowing what can come of it, and a man who gets a blow job and she saves his sperm. Creepy. I also think above-board sperm donation (and I don't know enough about OctoDad's situation to know where he donated it) is a generous thing and they should not be held responsible.

class-factotum said...

Oh, no! I think it's horrible that this guy (BJ man) was held accountable! It is one thing to have intercourse and father a child (a logical possible outcome), but in this case, there was no penetration. I side with the man completely. I just mean there is legal precedent.

And with Octodad, he KNEW she was going to impregnate herself, so you can't even say he didn't have knowledge about what was going to happen. He and Octomom were friends (my understanding) and she asked him for sperm. They signed a document, but such documents have not held up in court. People put more thought into selling their cars. I really think the parents should be on the hook financially before we should.

MeanMommyDoc said...

Then yes, I totally agree. If he was doing a directed donation, then he knew what he was doing, and he should be held responsible before the taxpayers.